this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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