what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
