I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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