i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
