why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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