This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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