Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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