no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize