I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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