taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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