I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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