i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
