That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
