I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
