When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
