I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
