He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize