Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
