you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She needs sedatives and a leash
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
