can we get nightvision for the apartment?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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