the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
