Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
