I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
