Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize