i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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