He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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