that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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