so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
