Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
