i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
