Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
that is very illegal...i love you.
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