"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
