just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
