This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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