this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
