the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
