She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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