just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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