i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
