you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
