can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
