Ambien. No doubt about it.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize