i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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