Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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