Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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