so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Randomize
