it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
