Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
