Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize