I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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