herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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