take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize