I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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