So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
