Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
