so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
