and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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