I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You're a waste of cheezeits
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
