doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
