I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize