Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
